Space Scorpions!

Have you heard about the Russian scientist claiming to have seen evidence of life on Venus?  One of the photos, taken by a Soviet probe three decades ago, is suppose to look like a scorpion.  Really?  It’s over 800 degrees on the surface of Venus.

Here is a grainy photo:

Do you see a scorpion?

Why do all the photos taken that claim to have something in them always looks blurry?  For instance:

That crazy Bigfoot!

Seriously though, I’m more inclined to believe a clear photoshoped photo like this one:

Look! It's a cat on the moon!

Anyway, I got to thinking this “Space Scorpion” thing could be the perfect Syfy Saturday night bad CGI monster movie.  It basically writes itself!

Space Scorpions

Start off with the discovery of the strange Russian Venus photos showing what seem to show life forms. Have a crazy looking Russian scientist being interviewed by an Art Bell-like interviewer about his discovery. Coincidentally, at the same time, have the U.S. putting the finishing touches on a robot probe that will visit Venus, land, collect a soil sample and return to Earth. The Venus probe successfully accomplishes it goal and returns to Earth six months later not only with Venusian soil, but also Space Scorpion eggs! NASA scientists at (pick a location – NASA Langley Research Center in Hampton, VA), discover the eggs, keep it a secret from the world and begin studying them. Russians catch wind of this discovery from a mole within NASA, send some of their agents over to break into the Langley facility and steal the Space Scorpion eggs. The Russian agents almost get away with the eggs, but run into NASA security chief (pick a name – Chad) who is an ex-Green Beret soldier (played by any B-list celebrity. Maybe get Dean Cain, Kevin Sorbo or even Bruce Campbell). Chad usually works at night, but is coming to NASA during the day to have lunch with his scientist wife (played by a any hot B-list actress. Maybe get Lucy Lawless). A gunfight breaks out with lots of explosions because Chad is a badass. As a result, the Space Scorpion eggs get loose in the drainage system, hatch and begin growing – fast! Because the Space Scorpions live on Venus, which is dry and 800 degrees hot (on a good day), the wet environment of the drainage system causes the insects to grow like crazy! The Space Scorpions quickly take over Langley and began a path of destruction by tearing stuff up and eating people (there has to be lots of people getting eaten). However, badass Chad and the Russian agents join forces, with the help of Chad’s scientist wife, and kill all the Space Scorpions, except for one (you always leave room for a sequel) which escapes into the Chesapeake Bay in nearby Norfolk, VA.

You know what?  I think if there are Venusians, they actually look more like this:

Venus hotties!

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